I'm not sure I'm getting what I need out of this relationship. Last year I started therapy because I was unfocused, sad, and felt utterly lost in my own life. And I was back on anti-depressants and didn't want to be.
I went in to see Doc and would ramble and occasionally get advice on things. Mostly I just talked. To someone who didn't know me, didn't know the rest of my family and friends, who had to focus on me. And it felt great to feel like I was ~heard~ by someone who wouldn't say, "Yes, Dear." or want something from me in return (copay notwithstanding).
In early September I hurt myself doing something stupid*. It sucked, because I had a level III sprain in my ankle on the same side where I've been fighting piriformis syndrome for the last 4 years or so. My therapy appointments increased since I had the head doc once a week and the physio 2-3x each week.
*Number 10, the Tarzan swing, was the one that ended the race early for me.
In December I lost it. The weather forced my physio to cancel one week and the feeling of NOT being obligated to be somewhere all the time (and having to work extra hours to make up the time I was out of the office) was so nice I cancelled the rest of the month. Then I bailed on the head doc, too, just for the novelty of not having to leave the house. This was a less than sound decision.
I have an appointment with Doc tomorrow, my first since before Thanksgiving. I don't want to ramble anymore. I have things I want to work on: my inability to stop procrastinating, my lack of motivation in general, my screwed up relationship with food. Concrete things I want to get help to change about myself. And I don't know how to talk to Doc about shifting our focus from my abstract vocal vomit to something more goal-oriented.
So... Anyone know of a good source for, "How to Be a Better Therapy Patient," they can point me toward? Dummies version preferred.